Teased as a Kid

I grew up in Philliphines until i was 14 i moved here in 1988-89. And i went to school at a Catholic elementary school with nuns. And the church was right next to our school, and we would go there for mass and also we had Religion as a subject. This picture shows the church we would go to, and the school is on the left side. It was called Christ the King College lol. I was taught a lot of self sacrifice, and not being selfish and being kind to other people. And also i got spanked for talking too much and i also bullied a kid, yes the teachers spank their students if you dont behave and i was spanked with a wooden ruler, it was pretty strict and they teach self discipline, even when you have to speak to the teacher, you have to raise your hand, so everyone was always quiet.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to bully other kids
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that bullying was fun
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see that bullying affects other people emotionally
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be responsible towards other people
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hurt other kids
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse other kids
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself because of my beliefs
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live as a belief which is me living a lie
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in sacrificing myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be selfish

So then we moved here in USA and started going to a regular public school, it was an interesting experience because the discipline isnt taught, most of the kids are pretty much free to do whatever they want. They can talk and no need to raise hand and no spanking. If you misbehave then you are sent to the office, thats about it, you get a detention, a pink slip. No spanking lol.

So getting adjusted was different because i was programmed to be quiet, while everyone else was talkative and expressing themselves as who they are. All the programming i got from the Catholic was still in me and i was still following it. So pretty much i was quiet and shy, because everything was different.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i am a quiet person
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i am a shy person, never realizing that it is just an illusion, who i am is self expression, being quiet and shy is a form of protection mechanism to not face what i am allowing within myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress who i am because of beliefs
I will not allow myself to be suppress by beliefs, I am one and equal as Life

One time i was in the class and the teacher made me sit next to a bully. And yes he was annoying, by calling me names and also putting glue on my chair, i decided to put glue on his chair too and he would try to punch me for it. And i would get pissed and i cant do anything really even tho i wanted to fight back but i had all these beliefs that fighting back is a sin, and also he was bigger than me. lol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear bullies
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in anger towards bullies
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to no stand up against bullies
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into self abuse
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i cant do anything because of my beliefs
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be suppress my truth because of beliefs
I forgive myself for not realizing that bullies are manifesting their suppressed expression because of their parents controlling their kids in which the kids manifest themselves as inferior which results in anger and as anger is manifested they act it out towards other kids as a balancing factor.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in sins



There were these kids who wanted to start fights, like the "tough" kids who always get in trouble. So they would throw a ball to my face while not looking and hit me in the face and i would be like.wtf, and i wouldnt do anything to them just stare at them. And some other kid shove this wet sponge on my face, and in my head i would be like, "what the fuck" and i wouldnt do anything to the kid, or say anything, just looked at him in the eye. I was pretty quiet, since i was still also learning a new language during that time. So it was interesting experience to experience being bullied, since in my hometown, i also bullied a kid. So that taught me a lesson about bullying lol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear "tough" looking people never realizing that this is just a protection mechanism within themselves that they have built up
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear people who act "tough" never realizing that this is just a protection mechanism that they are allowing within themselves.
i forgive myself for not allowing myself to stand up in front of bullies because of fear of being hit or beaten
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience fear in front of "tough" people because i believe that i am going to get beaten
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not standing up towards myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear by giving my power away to people
I will not allow myself to give my power away to people because of fear
i will not allow myself to give my self responsibility aware to people because of fear
I will not allow myself to give my self trust away to people or other things in this world because of fear
I will not allow myself to give my self directive away to people or other things in this world because of fear
I will not allow fear to define who i am, i am One and Equal as Life. I am Here as All in every moment of breathe.

So moving on to High School, there were still bullies. I was still shy and suppress my emotions inside as well as anger. I started to change, i started to built up this protection mechanism around me. I started to become more serious and more angry and more fearful. Because of my experiences with bullies and how people are. I held on to this, and used it as a protection mechanism. I hanged out with friends who are also shy and they also played the same sports that i like which is basketball, i dont play it anymore tho, but i used to when i was younger, a lot.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a protection mechanism within myself because of bullies never realizing that it was me afraid of facing my own self and standing up within myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own self as the bully never allowing myself to stand up within myself which i manifested myself as inferior towards the bully
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as fear because i have allowed myself to believe in it
I forgive myself for accecpting and allowing myself to live as fear because i ahve allowed myself to believe in it
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in fear never realizing that fear is just an illusion of the mind, every HERE is me as all as one and equal as life.
I forgive myself for not realizing that fear is just an illusion of not being able to stand up within myself. Thus I stand up within myself and never allow fear within myself ever again because who i am is One and Equal as Life. I am Life as All Here in every moment of Breathe.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i was a shy and quiet person, never realizing that these are all protection mechanisms of being afraid of standing up within myself
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to stand up within myself because i was never self intimiate within myself and allowed people to program me as well as allowed beliefs which are all lies to manifest within me
I will not allow people to program me
I will not allow beliefs to program me
All here is one and equal as life as me


There was a time when i was taking my art class, and this was the time that really annoyed me. We are sitting on this table probably 10 of us. And this one kid would always tease me. its interesting, all of us were asians, and he is the only white kid in the group, and he would just tease me. Call me names and he would ask me questions like "why is your teeth yellow?". It was interesting, i did not say anything, i was quiet and i just suppress my anger, because of my beliefs from the Catholic school that i should be "nice and kind" to everyone. So i just thought, I dont have to say anything, i need to be nice to people but yet i was angry. And he would write stuff on my folder. So as he teased me all the other kids of the group supported him, and the rest of the group started looking down on me, actually they started to tease me a bit too. Its like one kid starting a group and all the other kids started supporting it but not extensive. So now that i think of it, its interesting how one person, the leader, the bully, can create his own group and control a whole group because each person in that group are not standing up within themeselves but allow themesleves to be manipulated because of fear of being ridiculed. And they all want to fit in.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that white people are bullies
I forgive myself for acepting and allowing myself to self judge people base on the color of their skin
I forgive myself for accepting adn allowing myself to selfjudge people who are asians
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see human beings as picture presentation images base on visual covers of themselves, never realizing that it is the Words that they speak is who they are as a person
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear people base on their colors never realizing that all people are One and they are me as one and equal as Life and colors are all illusions as well as nationalities and races are all created for separation
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i should be "nice and kind" to people
i forgive myself for not realizing that being nice and kind to people onnly results in myself supporting peoples dishonesties within themselves
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get hurt by someone teasing me, never realising that it is just an illusion and it is what the other person is allowing, and if i believe that i am going to get hurt, then i manifest the hurt within myself because i have allowed myself to believe in teasing and that teasing supposedly will hurt
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that people are ganging up on me, never realizing that this happens because of what each person are allowing within themselves and unable to stand up within themselves.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that people are ganging up on me, never realizing that this is just a thought which is just an illusion created by the mind




Looking back all the things that he did doesnt matter anymore, but yet when i was a kid, it seemed like i was being attacked and i wanted to fight back. Its interesting. What he did is actually funny now and it doesnt even compare to the process that i have gone through. Hmm but yet i hanged on to this belief , this anger , this fear of being teased by other people, being judge by other people, i feared that growing up, and i created a protection mechanism of acting tough and serious as a mask. But it was all an illusion. It was a self definition and belief that i was protecting. Nothing can hurt me really unless i allow it to. And during that time, i allowed it to hurt me, i believed it and i manifested it. So i mindfuck my ownself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience being attacked from people who tease me, never realizing that this is a belief and it is what i am allowing within myself and manifesting within myself as thus i experience this belief that is created by my mind one and equal as me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hang on to fears
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hang on to anger
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hjang on to judgement
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manifest protection mechanisms within myself which only supports my self dishonesties within myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i needed to be tough so that no one can hurt me never realizing that i am just supporting my dishonesties within myself because there is really no hurt, unless i allow it to and unless i believe it then i manifest it as me Thus i release all of these things within myself and realize that emotions are not real but are manifested by the mind.

And i stand up within myself as who i really am
I stand up and will not allow anger judgement within myself

I self direct myself, I am self responsibility, i am self trust, i am self honesty am the Living Word
I am everything Here as one and equal as Life.