Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Workin with people who does not follow what they say

So been working with someone few weeks ago on a small project working on some graphics stuff. He is my sisters friend that i have never in contact with since 4-6 years ago, pretty long.

So we c0nnected and wanted me to work on these stuff. Well during the project he keeps saying that he needs to come over on december 29 to give me my check and also talk about the project.

But he has not messaged me or told me that he is coming over. And it is already passed december 29.

And i get annoyed when people do this. They talk about something and then not follow what they say. And i get angry sometimes because they flake. They do not follow their words the words thats they speak.

And this week it has been popping up in my mind. Whether i should call or wait. And then my mind starts to have these thoughts. "if you call then you are defining yourself of money, if you do not call then you are not defining yourself of money"

We did sign a contract before the project started. So ill just have to wait until New Year is over and see how it goes.

Some points that i need to look at regarding this matter.

1. Being annoyed and angry at people who are not self responsible
2. Emotional reaction within myself
3. money

- why do i get annoyed at people who are not self responsible?

because i did not take action, and i waited for other person to move instead of me moving myself, thus i got annoyed and waited at person instead of me moving myself and assisting myself. so i put the blame on other person when i had the ability to find out what is happening. I did not move myself instead i allowed my mind to dictate who i am, which caused me to wait instead of me moving myself which is me being self responsible for my own self. So it is me who was not being self responsible because i did not take action for what was happening.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get annoyed at people who does not follow what they say believing them to be not self responsible.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to self judge other people according to the actions that they make through their mind
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have anger within myself according to people who does not follow the words that they say
I forgive myself for not realizing that my anger and emotional reaction within myself is because I did not move myself, and i allowed my mind to dictate my actions resulting in myself "waiting" preventing myself to move my self in each moment of breathe. Thus i was actually angry at my own self for not "moving" and "directing" my own self in that moment, allowing my mind to "wait" for who i am in each moment of breathe.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my own self because i did not move my self in eahc moment of breathe
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be self responsible within myself in each moment of breathe

I will not allow myself to "wait" to self realize who i am .I will not allow myself to wait myself in each moment of breathe.

I will move myself in each moment of breathe, I direct myself in each moment of breathe. I DO NOT WAIT, I MOVE , I ASSIST MYSELF, I DIRECT MY OWN SELF WITHOUT FEAR, WITHOUT DOUBT

But in Self Honest and Self Trust

I am Life
I am Self honesty and Self Trust


Thus I Move myself in each moment of Breathe and i do not "Wait" and allow the mind to "dictate" who I am, for who i am is the Breathe of Life as All as One and Equal as Life. So i move myself in each moment, and not allow the mind to separate myself by "waiting". Because when "Waiting" that is similar to "hoping" which is not real.

.....
- why did i not take action and move myself?

because i feared confrontation, i feared facing myself, i did not want to get angry and have emotional reaction thus i did not want to move myself to find out what was happening. So i just waited and allowed my mind to define me. Instead of me defining my self in the moment. so i did not want to have an emotional reaction within myself thus i did not move myself, the emotions that i have not worked with yet was in me that feared to face.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear confrontations, because i did not realize that i feared facing what i have become.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not move myself because i feared facing my own self which is anger never realizing that the anger i was angry about was me, in which I did not move myself in that moment of breathe, i projected a blame towards someone else
Thus
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project blame towards others when i do not move myself in each moment of breathe
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to emotionally react in anger towards myself for not moving myself in each moment of breathe
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own self when not moving myself in each moment of breathe

I am Life as all as one and equal Here in each moment of breathe


----

- what emotions?

me being angry, me fearing that i will get angry at him, me being lost in my mind, allowing my mind to define me as emotions, instead of me being here as hte breathe of life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to assume what others are thinking never realizing that this is comparison and self judgement within myself which caused me to have emotional reaction within myself and separating my own self.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself through my mind according to selfjudgement
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to "think" that i will be angry when I move and direct myself. Never realizing that this was a "mind" that I was following instead of me moving myself and following myself as who i really am in each moment of breathe as one and equal as Life in the physical



- anger and annoyance

it is me being angry at myself and being annoyed at myself, because i did not move myself, thus the anger was directed towards me for not moving myself instead i reacted as blame towards the other person. so it was me being angry at myself all along, instead of me moving myself i became angry because i have allowed my mind to dictate the situation, in which i end up "waiting" which is my mind preventing my mind from "moving" there is not "waiting" for i move myself in every moment


- on money

we all need money to exist and live in this world, if i am working as self expression without money involve, then there would be no separation. But with money there is extensive separation. My mind would not be separating me with this project because with my mind its starts thinking "hey we need money! you need to call that guy",

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing money to separate myself from HERE in each moment of breathe
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought of money to separate my own self
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear money
I forgive myself for accepting adn allowing myself to become angry at money
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that everything here is me as all as one including money,
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to emotionaly react to money because i have never accepted money as one and equal as me as who i am for money is me

Living Life without Resistance

Thus I accepting Money as Me as one and equal as Life

- on being rich

i did have this goal of becoming a millionaire by 30, lol. which didnt turn out quite well, my mind creating these thoughts and it would start to make me greedy, so i got over that greed for money. so i just let go of that goal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a goal of becoming a millionaire never realizing that i was defining who i am base on money, money is not who i am but i am LIFE.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself because of money causing me to become greedy
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have thoughts within myself when i read hte word "Greedy"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to goals, goals are not who i am but who i am is Life as one and equal as Life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to greed

Greed is not who i am , but i am Life as one and equal as All here in eahc moment of Breathe

I am Life
I am Self honesty
I am self trust
I direct my own self in each moment of Breathe

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