Friend visited this week

Some new things i need to work on within myself that i caught this past week.

And that is me not standing up fully as ONE with myself. Meaning when someone starts asking questions, i start to go into my mind and starts to go into the "choice" mode which is duality, separation and it is not me being ONE with who i really am.

My friend came over this past week, lives in different state and i also work for him. So he came over and then he wanted to go eat and go to the movies. Well i said, no. But later on he asked again, and ended up changing my mind. Why did i not want to go? Because my body, felt slugging and sore. I have been staying up till 7am in the morning, and its a different schedule for me. And i also sleep in this small twin bed with very little cussion, so my body felt stiff when waking.

So i went, and we went to eat at a restaurant, and then went to watch a movie called Bedtime Stories which is a comedy.

After everything was over, i enjoyed myself. And it was fun.

I realized that the separation was from me not taking care of my body, thus i felt sluggish and stiff because of me staying up so late. And i was not self responsible for my body. I have to take care of my body because this is me becoming one and equal as my body as Life. If i am not self responsible for my body then i am not being ONe and Equal as my body as Life as who i really am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself because I was not self responsible for my body

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself by not taking care of my body as One and Equal as who i really am

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself by allowing my mind to separate me and allowing myself to believe in my mind, that I can stay up late and it is ok, never realizing that my body needs rest also and that i need to take care of my body as One and Equal as who i really am

I forgive myself for not realizing that being self responsible is also me being self responsible for my body as One and Equal as who i really am

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project what i feel within my body outside of myself,

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Another thing i noticed when i was with my friend is, he questioned me on the things i wanted. Double questioned me as if i stand as One and Equal as who i really am. And if i remained stable with being ONe and Self Honest as who i really am.

One of them was buying a pack of water, i usually get a certain brand of water, but this time i was given a choice, i usually buy one brand because that brand doesnt have an effect on me so i usually buy that. And other brands had an effect on me, and i would feel the effects. Altho that was then when my illness popped up, but i am better now, but i have not yet tested the other brands if they have hte same effect as when i was ill.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself by choosing one brand of water, never realizing that all water is me and it is the mind that has caused separation within myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that certain brands of water is better compared to another because of how my body reacts to it

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to listen to my body

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing others to direct me instead of me directing my own self

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing others to direct me because i did not want to argue whether who is right or wrong

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in the idea of right or wrong

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach myself according to food

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself according to food

After that i had to throw away a burger becaues i did not finish it, my friend told me to throw it away and im like "What?" Because i ordered 2 burgers and i saved one for later. But then my friend said, throw it away!

So i did, And i felt, what a waste of food. me being attached to the food. Why because i feared that my sugar level would go down and that i needed some food to bring it up and if i did not have food my sugar level would drop and the fear of experiencing the symptomps and maybe even dying.

So it was the fear that made me experience the "why throw it away?" expression. Why waste food?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have an emotional reaction when throwing away food that is still good to eat

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have an emotional reaction when food that is still good is thrown away because i had believed growing up that i can not waste food

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience guilt after throwing away the food

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience guilt because i believe in preserving food and not wasting money

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the emotional feeling of guilt that i experience was from a belief that i hanged on to as a child which has become a self definition of my self

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hang on to a belief according to wasting food

After that i found a dime, and i picked it up and i remember a belief that coins will supposedly bring luck. So i was picking up coins, because of a belief i had a while back which is luck of getting more money or being rich, which are all a lie.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that coins on the ground are lucky

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to superstitions

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if i pick up a coin on the ground that i would get lucky and become rich or win something

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself according to superstitions and the idea of winning and becoming rich the easy way

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to win and become rich

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myselfl according to beliefs and superstitions

I am Life
I am Self Responsibility
I am Self Trust
I am Self Directive
I am One and Equal as Life as All Here in each moment of Breathe
I am the Breathe