The Chubby Sex Demon Feeds the Mind Consciousness System

And so i fed my mind's desires growing up. Getting "lost" in my mind as i fed the systems day in and day out. Through internet, through downloading porn, "hooking up" through internet chats etc, and meeting all these people. If your mind desired something, the mind will control you and it will do anything to manifest this desire if you let it control you. And it will take you to a downward spiral further and deeper, until you are lost and gone.

I have allowed myself to be defined by this desire. I manifested it, I have allowed myself to believe that who i was, was this person who desired chubby men. My self definition was base on how i was accepted sexually by these chubby men. My self definition was based on sexual desires. If i was not perceived to be sexually attracted then i felt rejected. It was all a mind fuck. A trap to prevent myself from realizing who i really was.

And I continued this self abuse. I continued to Abuse myself, seeking someone outside of my self to accept me through this sexual desire. Following my minds desires, "Hey Kenny, lets do this, im bored, let go meet this person it will be fun, hey kenny how bout we do this, its fun " I followed my mind, believing myself to be of the mind. And slowly the mind trapped me in further and further. Becoming addicted to porn, and meeting men, going to dating sites, feeding my mind desires.

Internet Roleplaying Chat Feeds the Mind

Its interesting how the mind functions. The mind is not stable. Its similar to a parasite, or some kinda monster leech.

Once you have allowed yourself to be of the mind, and allowed yourself to be defined by desires. The mind will start to become a leech. So lets say you start to feed the mind more desires. And these emotions and feelings you experience you become addicted to. Then this leech starts out small, and you feed it with emotions and compounded energy. Like a vampire, it feeds. Then hte leech grows, and you seek bigger and greater wilder things to compound the energy to feed the mind. The mind starts to create these visions, darker visions, things that you never really thought of before and they create more energy within inside of you.

So what i did to feed my mind, was internet roleplay chatting. It is interesting but this allowed me to live in my mind, which fed my mind to create all these scenarios and fantasies that i desired. This was all dishonesties within myself, they werent real and i lied to the other person i chatted who believed all what i said but it was all a lie manifested through my desires of the mind.

Each session of roleplaying became darker and evil, i totally became this demon with a single mindconstruct that feed on this single energy. And i got off on it, this energy that was generated from it, i wanted more of it.

Its interesting, it was the emotional energy that i was addicted. Like some kinda drug, i never took drugs before but this was a drug that got me high.

This is me and what i have allowed and become.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself through and as sexual desires
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself through porn
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself through internet chats
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as a sexual object through other people
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself through sexual emotions and feelings
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my mind to enslave me

I will not allow the mind to enslave me
I will not allow hte mind to define me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be dishonest within myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lie to my own self
I forgive myself for accepting adn allowing myself to define myself through self interest of my own desires
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in my mind as i roleplay scenarios and fantasies within my mind
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become addicted to compounded energy emotions

I stop
I STOP
I STOP

I will not allow the mind to Control me through desires
I will not allow the mind to manipulate and enslave me any longer


I stop all desires
I STOP all desires
I STOP all desires of the mind

Desires are illusion to prevent the realization of self. To prevent me from realizing who i really am

I am Here as One and Equal as Life in every moment of Breathe

I AM LIFE
I AM LIFE
I AM LIFE AS ALL AS ONE AND EQUAL AS LIFE